I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
