Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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