if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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