So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
