all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
