she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
