He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
