I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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