I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
