you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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