In America we eat man semen.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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