I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I didn't notice because vodka
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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