By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
