Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(573): View more from Missouri

I can tuck mytits in my pants

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji

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(614): View more from Ohio

I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.

(1-614): View more from Ohio

I'm not sure what to say to that.

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(516): View more from New York

Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I

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(573): View more from Missouri

his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"

(314): View more from Missouri

did it work

(573): View more from Missouri

that's not the point...

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(217): View more from Illinois

you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot

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(+33): View more from France

Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee

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(207): View more from Maine

the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party

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(518): View more from New York

I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that

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