is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
