I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
