You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife đŹ
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He sang the chorus to âInside of youâ by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldnât even be mad, that probably took talent
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