Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
