It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
