Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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