Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
