I puked a lego.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
