that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
