talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My ATM looks so different sober.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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