Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
