I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize