He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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