you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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