More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
pray to the hookup gods
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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