So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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