she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
