Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
