whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
