Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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