There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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