Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize