She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
