What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
