Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
