The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
