told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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