i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
