My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She told me I should be a condom model.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
