You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
