I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
