you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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