new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize