Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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