they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I will pee on everything he values.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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