And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
