He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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