i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
