Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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