I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
