I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize