i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize