Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
